Do Nothing Sundays
I’ve always wondered what people do on Sundays. Sometimes I exercise the art of not doing a damn thing. But there’s an art to doing nothing. It has to be good.
Some folks go shopping all day. Some go to church. Some run errands like dropping pictures off. Me, I reserve Mondays for hard running errands that suck. I don’t know about you, but I absolutely can’t be bothered to drop pictures off at the framers. I know it needs to be done, but that means I have to go in the store, look at frames, talk about matting, have a heart attack when they quote me the price. If it’s too much, I have to look all over again at frames. That is not a Sunday task. So maybe the task only seems daunting to me because I know how indecisive I can be. We’re talking about a frame shop. What’s the big deal, you say? Totally. I just have a hard time with things.
Don’t even get me started on how hard it is for me to go into a shoe store to return a pair of shoes. And I’m talking about unworn shoes. I just feel so bad and like I’m doing something wrong. I didn’t even wear them. I rarely return things. I dread doing it. And when I am not sure about shoes, I walk only on carpet until I absolutely know. And my turnaround time is 24 – 48 hours, so if I return something, it’s reasonable, but I just feel terrible. I haven’t returned anything lately, so I haven’t experienced that terrible feeling in a while. Good. It doesn’t even seem very characteristic of me, considering I can be stank if you cross me just long enough to get me angry. I cannot return a pair of shoes without having mild anxiety. This is ludicrous.
See, all these things above? You can’t think of those things on Sunday. On Do Nothing Sunday, this is the blueprint one must follow to really experience the zen of nothingness.
Part of relaxing for me is writing. It depends on how relaxed I want to be though. If I’m super chilling coma style, I pull out the old journal and the pen that leaks the ink out just precisely and makes my handwriting look all amazing. If I’m just kinda chill, I pull out a Word document, but ugh! Get the computer out, make sure it starts, listen to all of its I’m-a-dumb-computer sounds. And I don’t have one of those cool Macs. My little sister does. I don’t even own an Ipod. My little sister does. What the hell? I am drowning in obsolete machinery. What’s up with that anyway? For real. Something’s not right when your younger sibling has more worldly possessions than you do.
So where was I? Oh yes. After writing on Do Nothing Sunday, I take one of those long showers. The ones where things are getting accomplished. Legs are being shaved, skin’s being exfoliated, hair is deep conditioned, facial masks, cuticles pushed back, sea salt is in the air – all kinds of shower action. The whole house is to smell like you shower all day long. You take the kind of shower you take when you first start dating a person that you think you’ll date for a long time and you’re at the point where he comes over specifically to kiss you or say hi. The “I’ll be in the neighborhood later today, and I want to see you” phone call means you have work to do girl. Get up, get your hair together, get the pillows fluffed, light some tea lights and act like this is just a regular day. Some girls say boys don’t notice all that, but it doesn’t matter what they notice. It matters how you feel and for heaven’s sake if he does notice, you will be in there. Reel that fool in. And then when he says he has to go, he doesn’t and you talk all night and he makes you laugh and you get up and get him more water even though he didn’t ask for any. That kind of shower for Ain’t Nothing Going On Sunday, even without the boy as the occasion. See what I am saying here? You have to always be prepared! I sometimes dab a light sandalwood oil behind my ears. But that’s only for when he is being super duper dope the bomb explosive showing up with Japanese candies and taking his hat off at the door and locking it behind him. That’s reserved for those days. And let me just say that a good girlfriend maintains these beauty rituals even when she’s 7, 8 months deep in the relationship. Don’t sleep, ladies. Make sure he knows that you know...
Oh well, this is crowding my do nothing schedule. I hope you’re doing nothing today as well.
Some folks go shopping all day. Some go to church. Some run errands like dropping pictures off. Me, I reserve Mondays for hard running errands that suck. I don’t know about you, but I absolutely can’t be bothered to drop pictures off at the framers. I know it needs to be done, but that means I have to go in the store, look at frames, talk about matting, have a heart attack when they quote me the price. If it’s too much, I have to look all over again at frames. That is not a Sunday task. So maybe the task only seems daunting to me because I know how indecisive I can be. We’re talking about a frame shop. What’s the big deal, you say? Totally. I just have a hard time with things.
Don’t even get me started on how hard it is for me to go into a shoe store to return a pair of shoes. And I’m talking about unworn shoes. I just feel so bad and like I’m doing something wrong. I didn’t even wear them. I rarely return things. I dread doing it. And when I am not sure about shoes, I walk only on carpet until I absolutely know. And my turnaround time is 24 – 48 hours, so if I return something, it’s reasonable, but I just feel terrible. I haven’t returned anything lately, so I haven’t experienced that terrible feeling in a while. Good. It doesn’t even seem very characteristic of me, considering I can be stank if you cross me just long enough to get me angry. I cannot return a pair of shoes without having mild anxiety. This is ludicrous.
See, all these things above? You can’t think of those things on Sunday. On Do Nothing Sunday, this is the blueprint one must follow to really experience the zen of nothingness.
Part of relaxing for me is writing. It depends on how relaxed I want to be though. If I’m super chilling coma style, I pull out the old journal and the pen that leaks the ink out just precisely and makes my handwriting look all amazing. If I’m just kinda chill, I pull out a Word document, but ugh! Get the computer out, make sure it starts, listen to all of its I’m-a-dumb-computer sounds. And I don’t have one of those cool Macs. My little sister does. I don’t even own an Ipod. My little sister does. What the hell? I am drowning in obsolete machinery. What’s up with that anyway? For real. Something’s not right when your younger sibling has more worldly possessions than you do.
So where was I? Oh yes. After writing on Do Nothing Sunday, I take one of those long showers. The ones where things are getting accomplished. Legs are being shaved, skin’s being exfoliated, hair is deep conditioned, facial masks, cuticles pushed back, sea salt is in the air – all kinds of shower action. The whole house is to smell like you shower all day long. You take the kind of shower you take when you first start dating a person that you think you’ll date for a long time and you’re at the point where he comes over specifically to kiss you or say hi. The “I’ll be in the neighborhood later today, and I want to see you” phone call means you have work to do girl. Get up, get your hair together, get the pillows fluffed, light some tea lights and act like this is just a regular day. Some girls say boys don’t notice all that, but it doesn’t matter what they notice. It matters how you feel and for heaven’s sake if he does notice, you will be in there. Reel that fool in. And then when he says he has to go, he doesn’t and you talk all night and he makes you laugh and you get up and get him more water even though he didn’t ask for any. That kind of shower for Ain’t Nothing Going On Sunday, even without the boy as the occasion. See what I am saying here? You have to always be prepared! I sometimes dab a light sandalwood oil behind my ears. But that’s only for when he is being super duper dope the bomb explosive showing up with Japanese candies and taking his hat off at the door and locking it behind him. That’s reserved for those days. And let me just say that a good girlfriend maintains these beauty rituals even when she’s 7, 8 months deep in the relationship. Don’t sleep, ladies. Make sure he knows that you know...
Oh well, this is crowding my do nothing schedule. I hope you’re doing nothing today as well.
posted by Lethe at 9:25 PM
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