I'm moving to a hut

That’s it. I’m really getting irked by technology. I’ve had enough. My laptop crashed on me and Computer Guy only managed to recover a fraction of my files. Do you sense my frustration here? I’m fuming. I'm enraged. My files are gone. GONE.

And I just mastered the damn Remind feature on the television cable box. I wasn’t highlighting “okay” when it asked me to change the channel to it, and I was always so pissed that I had to manually enter it. I mean, seriously. I’m semi-college educated (moot point) and I swear I’m near-sighted so how was I to know that I had to make sure the small yellow ring was surrounding the word “okay”? The reminder came on, I press enter. Nothing happens. This is crazy.

Don’t even get me started on the DVD/VCR. That double contraption is summonsing the voices in my head. It’s driving me up the wall. Whoa, such hostility. But for real. It’s so sensitive. I press the rewind button and if I hold it too long it takes the movie way back to the womb. Hold it too briefly and I’m pausing and starting, pausing and starting. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t even get up to get a drink while watching a DVD because I’m too scared to press the wrong buttons and not be able to figure it out so much so that I just can’t watch the movie anymore.

You know what other machine I hate? Dude, I don’t need a talking box telling me to “please take the ticket.” Yes, I’m going to take the ticket. What? Do you think I’m going to pull some super sci fi stunt man shit and just plow through the striped arm gate thing? So shut up lady. And I can’t even reach the ticket. It’s so annoying to take the seat belt off, open the door a hint, lean out, burn my arm on the hot metal of the car door, grab the ticket. My life is just too short. Absolutely too short to be complaining about technology, but still. I’m taking the ticket whore, now leave me alone. And don’t let me get involved with the person that is so impatient, that believes the entire multi-story complex will get up and switch locations from the time that I grab the ticket to the time that they get to grab the ticket. There will be no beeping and yelling and eye-rolling. Work with me. I’m trying to take the ticket. Don’t complicate things.